How do you fall in LOVE?

A lot of my blogs start with things I have heard, read or seen - this one isn't any different. Sorry to disappoint. 

I stumbled upon this quote a while back and I put it on one of my sticky notes on my laptop computer (Mac), and I recently looked at it again. "A good marriage requires that you fall in love many times with the same person." -Mignon McLaughlin. It made me stop and really think, Do I fall in love with God everyday? Or even once a week?

The thought made me somewhat nauseas, and then fairly curious, mainly thanks to my next thoughts. What is stopping me from falling in love with God everyday? How do I do it? How do others fall in love with God when they do?

I connect with God emotionally and spiritually through music and the time I spend questioning my own faith with the ones I love. A lot of those things take place every day, but a lot of days I find myself frustrated and questioning why I am feeling as such. Did I start my day with God? Have I encountered Him at all today? The majority of the time my answer is no, and that is one of the worst realizations I have come to. He is my Savior. He is my King. He is the thing I love above all things, and yet I don't tell Him I love Him as often as I tell my mom or my boyfriend. 

Now, that's not to say I shouldn't tell the ones I love on this earth that I love them as often as I possibly can - but why am I not telling the One who CREATED ME?! What is over taking my brain to make it so I am not conscious of how much I'm encountered my God? 

It's the world.

I know what you're thinking "You can't blame all of your problems on the evil of the world, Miriah." But I can. My problems are because of this world because of the evil that inhabits it. What is my fault though is how I react to such evil. Why am I not telling Satan to beat it when I'm in a bad mood for the little things? I have the power, we all do. Why am I not forcing that good for nothing out of my mind and then letting the glory of God shine bright in the world I wish to change? 

I know this blog seems like mostly questions, but lately that is all I've had to do. Question the reality of this world and what I can do to change it with the time and people God has given to me. Everyone is a tool, you just have to realize your function! I can tell God I love Him everyday, and do my best to show Him that love by doing my very best to live out His word.

Fall in love everyday with the same person -  your Creator. It's a good feeling.

until next time (:

Lyrically Astounding: Jimmy Needham

I have written a blog about a Jimmy Needham song previously, but listening to his music multiple times is like watching your favorite movie a thousand times - you know all the words, but each one brings a new meaning.

"Can I weep about my Savior and the way He died?"  

Fence Riders - Jimmy Needham

In my head, the first thing I thought was Why would I cry? That is definitely NOT my first reaction. However, the better question is - Why wouldn't I cry? Jesus is my best friend, the lover of my soul and the very first man to know all of me inside and out in my thoughts and deepest parts of my being...He died. Why wouldn't I cry?

I'm not saying that we should all weep constantly because of the death of Jesus, I mean think of Easter! It's a celebration of (well..technically it's a celebration of a Pagan God who was half bunny that laid eggs and promoted fertility..but that's beside the point) Jesus' resurrection! So celebrate, but take time to miss your friend and pursue that deep relationship.

It also brings me back to the lyrics of Amazing Grace. "How amazing was His grace in the hour I first believed" And I thought My faith was impenetrable in my first hours of really accepting Jesus and His grace...what happened.  

I realized it's like getting a shiny new bike as a child and riding it for a while, but then getting consumed by the GameBoy, the PlayStation, the Television, and all of the other numerous things that draw children into the confines of their home. Meanwhile, the bike is sitting in the corner of my garage waiting to be ridden like the first few years of it's 'newness'. I still know how to ride it, and sometimes I think about doing just that but then something inside catches my eye and I don't.

How true is that of our faith as Christians? Jesus was shiny and new (and I hope He isn't offended by my bike analogy..) but once the world grabs hold of us all over again we as Christians are sucked in the materialistic world we created. It's like going to church camp, and coming down from a spiritual high because you went home. 

We were innocent in our love for Jesus at that time, and isn't the innocence of a child exactly what God is looking for from us? Why not strive everyday to revert back to the faith we had at the start of our walk with Christ, but continue to have the knowledge and deeper understanding of His love and grace that we have acquired with time?

I'm not saying weep constantly or act like a child, but I am asking - what happened to your faith that you stopped thinking of Jesus as a friend and Savior and started seeing Him as JUST a being to worship?

I miss my best friend, but at times my heart is hardened. I want to ride my bike, but sometimes I'd rather watch T.v. I never said I had the answers, but something has got to give.

until next time (:

Are You for Me?

Sometimes thoughts stir up. Thoughts I hate thinking and even thoughts I never thought I would think.

How could God do this?

Doesn't He love me?

Isn't He for me?

Are You sure this is good for me?

Are You sure this will prosper me?

I hate that You didn't step in.

Are You the Almighty?

I lost a friend to murder. Sometimes I have no idea what God wants of me (in any way shape or form). I struggle with lust (every day). I'm working 60 hours a week for an entire summer just to pay off a balance I owe for the next school year. I'm struggling in the classes I need to take to do what I'm sure (on good days) God wants me to do. My mom is struggling with the house, and so I work those 60 hours to help. I could go on. This is the worst summer I have yet to experience, and the only line I have playing in my head is "everything gets worse before it gets better."

Can I handle worse?

Lately I've been playing a song on repeat, For Me - Kari Jobe. For those who don't know her, or don't listen to her often I reccommend you listen to it at least once. The chorus of the song though is something that continues to play in my head even if I'm not listening to it.  

"I know that You are for me. I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weaknesses. I know that You have come down, even if to write upon my heart. To remind me who You are."

I thought I was sinning by having doubts in my God. I thought I'm a Christian, I have to believe in God all the time and keep that constant faith. Then I realized the true distinction between faith and belief. Not only had I been pushing through life on threads of belief and less than a string of faith, but I was fighting a demon I was sure to lose against if those threads and strings didn't get woven together.

Faith is where your heart is. Belief is where your head comes into play, and some days my head and my heart are not together on anything. Some days I have to force myself to sit down and read the Word, or listen to some worship or talk to my best friend about my frustrations. Sometimes my faith in God fights against the things I believe and I end up losing in the center of it all.

But sometimes, I win. More often then not my faith triumphs and I realize that God has me in the palm of His hand. Me. A miniscule, rambly, emotional, trainwreck of a girl who is just trying to keep herself afloat with friendships, school, family, and an incredible true love. He has me in the palm of His hand, and He is molding me each day. That faith triumphs, intertwines itself with belief and together they rule my day with prayer, worship, and scripture.

Not everyday is good. I have doubts all the time. But if I didn't have them, I woudln't be where I stand. And I like the view from up here, in the center of God's hand.

until next time (:

Don't forget about the LITTLE People!

I love reading BibleGateway's verse of the day. No matter what day I read, or in this case which verse it is I am reading it always has to do with my life at this time. God is funny like that!

Lately I've been feeling a little selfish, because I work 2 jobs, train for a 5K, and still I'm behind on money and everything else. Why is it that I do so much for other people but I feel like God has forgotten His servant? Well I opened up BibleGateway today and this is what I read...Hebrews 6:10 which says "God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them." 

I got smacked in the face. What was I thinking? God forgetting one of His children? Am I insane?

Don't answer that last question...But nonetheless, it was something I needed to feel to truly realize that God is always there - doing what is best for me. It's like grieving, no one volunteers for it, but when it shows up on your doorstep it's something you have to deal with as a human being. Once it's over, however you can sit back and know how much you have changed thanks to God's handy work because He brought you through something the world threw you into. 

Think about Abraham. An old man was told by God that a great kingdom would come from him. Through leading his people, to almost sacrificing his son Abraham followed the truth that God spoke on belief alone. 

What about Daniel? Talk about the pits of despair. Anyone else want to volunteer to be in the pit with the lions? I didn't think so. God said He would deliver Daniel, and He did. God doesn't forget a servant - no matter how big or small. 

Sometimes I ache for the knowledge of where God wants me. Sometimes I wonder why I'm at both jobs, or running for a lost friend, or why I try so hard to please something I can't even see. Then I realize it's all because He loves. It's all because of His sacrifice. It's all because of the Spirit that leads me. Trust. Trust. Trust.

If you feel small know that you are a priority to the Lord. Know that no matter how tiny or insignificant you might feel, God is bigger than your emotions and He has a handle on all the things you fear and worry. God will never forget one of His sheep, because He is the great shepherd. Do the tasks set out for you, help the least for that is helping Jesus, and love to the end of your rope. Even when you don't think you can handle anymore of anything or anyone, step out onto thin air - God is holding you.

I still feel small sometimes, but no longer insignificant.

until next time (:

Nice...Shoes?

I got the best compliment today that I've received in weeks. And with a very flattering boyfriend, that is something not easily said.

Today is TOMS No shoes Awareness Day - Today I was told by a passerby (who was also shoeless) "Hey, I like your shoes!!" We shared a large smile and went on about our day. Awareness days are great, but I've been told "if you are aware...where do you go from there?"

That question made me truly think. My roommate, best friend, and I have tried to do fundraisers for TOMS but they do not take donations (odd, but true.) They receive their money simply by people who purchase their shoes. Which is fair, but how on earth do we help if donations aren't plausible?

For one: GET THE WORD OUT! Safety, Service and Love for others aren't just things you speak about or feel without action - those things are movements only able to be put in action by people MOVING together.

For two: Host a TOMS Design Your Sole party, you can design your own TOMS in party form with friends who also want to change the world! It's a rather cool idea!

For three: BE CREATIVE! The Beatles didn't start a movement by sounding like anyone else but The Beatles. And better yet, Jesus didn't waste his time trying to reach his people the same way other churches and temples did - in fact He flipped tables and set people on their edge.

I love my "shoes" Make an effort and voice your opinion - start moving, even if it is just by not wearing shoes. Don't stop there, everyone makes a difference!!

until next time (:

My Week in the "D" - Service

What is the true meaning of service? What does it mean to have a servant's heart? How do we get there?

All of these questions were ones that plagued my heart before my week in the "D", but now I believe I have answers. I'm not saying I'm perfect at anything involving service, or having the greatest servants heart - in any way, but I am saying that I think I know how to get there faster and in a greater way.

1) What is the true meaning of service?

If you truly want to understand the meaning of service, go to a place where service is taboo and begin your work. I'm not saying drop everything and be a bum in Detroit that does nothing but volunteer (although it is a blast!) but do something. Helping others is something that has always given me the warm and fuzzies, but knowing I am doing something for someone who isn't anywhere near used to it - gosh is that amazing.

2) What does it mean to have a servant's heart?

This is something I've always seen as a good thing to have and I thought I'd mastered it, but man was I wrong. I got to Detroit and immediately living with 14 other people that I didn't know SUPER well to begin with was overwhelming. In my mind I was there to serve Detroit, and I learned it wasn't just serving Detroit - it was serving those around me. Towards the end of the week we were all that much closer - and that much more loving and the inside jokes blew up!

3) How do we as a whole get there?

Open up. Let God in. Be happy about doing work that serves Jesus. In the word it is stated that if we do something for the least of these, we do it to and for Jesus. Why don't you want to give everything you have to serve the God you love? It's not easy, and it's definitely a process that I'm still working on - but it feels so good to be this much closer to succeeding!

Service is loving those who don't often feel such an emotion presented to them by other people. I love loving. 

until next time (:

A Week in the "D" - Agape

This won't be my only post about my mission trip in Detroit, because it will take much more than a day and a half to digest the beauty that happened there. This one is about Agape.

If you know what the word means, you don't have to keep reading if you don't want to, but it takes a different turn then you think. If you don't know what it means, keep reading.

Agape means Sacrificial Love. It means the love that Christ felt for us as He hung on that tree. It means the love He felt as He sacrificed His reputation, cleanliness by Jewish law, His status, His everything to become the least of these for our souls. It means the kind of love we are to have for the least os these. 

To be first one must be last. I continued to tell myself I wanted to be last, but did I? Did I really believe myself when I said that? Until this week I thought so, but being told that there is a HUGE difference in the complacent Christian Philao (give and take only) type of love and agape love...I knew I was wrong. After a full week (and when I say full, I mean full) of serving, loving, and growing with and without 14 other human beings. We encountered broken and lonely, broken and rebuilding, healed and helping, and those who were unreadable. I am amazed by the love God pushed into my face through all the incredible people we met.

One night we were all dead tired, but I kept volunteering songs for us all to sing. I just wanted us to praise and worship, and feel God in the home we stayed in. There was a man who had come in off the streets (he was a regular to the family we stayed with, and such a sweet and gentle human being) and as he listened to our praise and worship for almost 45 minutes, on top of the talking and growing on an already renewed faith in God with our host father - he made the decision after our singing to get baptized on Easter Sunday. 

If we hadn't sacrificed our tired, sleep deprived selves to sing to God and give Him the glory, that man would not have made that decision that night. I amazed by Agape.

It will take some growing pains, some work, and a lot of God's grace to work on sacrificing myself more and more - but God made my heart this big for a reason. He'll break it a thousand times for what breaks His if He has to. 

Agape.

until next time (: