Romance. It's sort of a multi-faceted term that reaches all generations, religions, races, and sexual orientations but has a million different meanings. Being a 20-year-old, christian, white, heterosexual female the idea of romance has always been that of Noah and Allie Calhoun. Boy, was I wrong.
I stated in an earlier blog post that I've never been one for the 'damsel in distress' or 'princess' mentality mainly because I think it's a waste to spend your time waiting for a man in chaps to save your life. However, something I never realized until I was thrown into a loving and absolutely breath taking romance was that I had been waiting for a man like Noah Calhoun to sweep me off my longing feet. It was not unrealistic to think that a man would ever love me endlessly, and without regard to my mood or hair style but it was unrealistic to think we would just fall in love like magic...like a movie.
Noah and Allie's romance was something that took time, hard work, and lots of trial and error but it fell together to nicely at the end because it was a movie. When I was younger I thought that love was butterflies in spring time, and hot chocolate in a snow storm. All cuddles, kisses, and sweet nothings and I realize now that was because I had never been in love. At least I had never considered that I was 'in love'.
My love story began the day I told God I loved Him, and the day I told Him I trusted Him to find and mold the man of my life. That was at least eight or nine years ago, and being almost 21-years-old has left a lot of room for frustration, anger and pain when it comes to what I thought romance was. I thought I had found it when I started dating a man who tore me down mentally and emotionally because I thought he was helping me 'grow'. I thought I had it when a man confessed his love for me, and I told myself that maybe it just took time. I thought I had it when I found a man who could listen to me for hours on end, but never shared what the inner workings of his personality or emotion.
The problem with all of those is because they started with 'I'.
God never had plans for me to do all the work, or any of it for that matter. God knew all three of those men were not for me, and through the heartache and emotional wreckage He spent time rebuilding what I decided was mine to put in the harm's way. Silly me. God had started molding the one He had planned for me a year and two days after my name was written on the birth certificate.
I don't know that I would have changed any of those past experiences for the world because they helped create the 'list'.
In the end, I am not Allie and Tom is not my Noah because we have problems and temptations, and emotions that cannot fit into a motion picture script. We love, we laugh, we cry, and although almost never - we do argue.
God gave me the man who fulfilled every single 'requirement' that I set in from of Him, and so much more. God gave me the being He began to mold specifically for me, and for that I am grateful, and at the end of the day mine and Tom's romance is gorgeous. However, the way God loves me...that romance is insurmountable.
until next time (:
