This Year in 21 Simple Details (:

I want to reflect on this past year because it has been an incredible one (:

1) I had the opportunity to see some amazing friends and family get married this year! So blessed to know Kate&Robert, Matthias&Keilah, and my wonderful cousin Susan.

2) I got to see another friend get engaged, and share in the joy of their love! 

3) The opportunity to sing (with two of the best girls around) at my first wedding, it was a blessed experience.

4) I received the worst grades of my school career, a blessing in disguise.

5) I received the best grades of my school career, a relief.

6) Fell in and out and in love with God. It's an ever growing relationship with my Creator.

7) I began dating and fell in love with one of the most inspiring, open hearted, Godly men I know.

8) Made brand new friends, and what an incredible blessing they are!

9) Caught myself more than once saying or doing something that wasn't glorifying and stopped myself - it's ever growing.

10) I got my first two tattoos.

11) Remembered my friend on the year anniversary of her death, RIP Chels.

12) Prayed with my girls for guidance and peace, love and mercy...and then prayed again, and again, and again.

13) Discussed sex and the nitty-gritty details with pastors, priests, professors, and a rabi in front of my entire school. 

14) Started working two jobs, and going to school full time.

15) Managed and definitely didn't manage my stress properly. It takes time.

16) Stepped foot into the studio with an incredibly talented girl and started something I love!

17) Realized it is not always my responsibility, or even my business. However, I am created to listen and to speak with words given to me by the only true Healer.

18) Became unsure of what God wants for me to do - but I am incredibly excited to seek Him for the answer.

19) Realized how strong I really am.

20) Became inspired beyond belief by my friends who chase their dreams through love and grace.

21) I turned 20 years old, and found that nothing is for certain but Love Never Fails.

I've learned a few things, and I pray I've helped people learn a few things. I don't want to make New Year's Resolutions, but I do want to live my life by love and nothing else. I want to walk in the footsteps of my Maker with the ones I love. I've been blessed by Him to live another year and be so happy in the storms because He is only growing me.

until next year (:

What is the Truth About You?

It sucks to say I struggle everyday to look in the mirror with a happy face. What is worse is knowing the women that surround me, and a lot of men struggle with the same thing. It's not just bed head and a little bit of dry drool that they are frowning over, but it is the way they feel about themselves...the way I feel about myself.

Instead of telling me that I'm a "beautiful creation of God" please read on. Not that I don't appreciate those comments, every girl likes to hear she is beautiful, but that is a 'go to' phrase that I don't want to hear just yet.

Yesterday I heard a song. A song to change minds, and break hearts so God can mold them again. I am so thankful. The name is "The Truth About Me" by Mandisa, and good glory is this woman reading my mind. 

The song is about the way she sees herself, and how different that is from the view point God has on His creation. I never think about how God sees me, do you? I never recognize how those who care about me see me, do you? It's a little selfish only letting how you see yourself get to you, don't you think? No to the first two, and a definite yes to the last one. 

How do I change the way I view myself?

I started by putting that song on repeat, and not just on my iPod but in my head as well. I work in fast food, which means I get bullied from time to time and I used to let it get to me. Now? I know God holds a higher standard for how I view myself, and even though it's the most difficult thing I have had to do in a while, I do my best to think differently. I have a mantra, "Love Is Bigger". Love can cover all of my insecurities, and thanks to Him I have no worries.

What if I have a not so "Mandisa-vational" day?

Every morning I get down. Every single morning, but I surround myself with the people who truly care about me and want to see me feel better about myself. (If that didn't sound like a motivational poster, I don't know what does).

So I make promises to myself or to others about my self-esteem because in my mind promises are, and must stay, unbreakable. I promised my boyfriend I would do my best to see myself through his eyes as a beautiful and strong woman of God. I promised God I would start to change the words I use to describe myself into a more positive tone because I owe it to myself to see me the way He does. 

If I put myself down, I'm putting down His creation - and God doesn't make mistakes. Isn't that reassuring?

I'm not saying that all of this is easy, or that you can do it in a pinch if you're feeling down. Changing your confidence to be more positive is like a long-term, loving relationship, it takes effort and time but in the end it is the greatest thing you have or will ever do not just for yourself but for everyone around you. No one likes a negative nancy, especially when you are putting yourself down and being serious about it. 

What's the truth about me? I am a creation of the Most High and nothing about me was made wrong - He does good work.

until next time (:

The time to end slavery is NOW

No matter what you think about the slavery of the past - know that the slavery of today must have warriors like William Wilberforce and Martin Luther King Jr.

27 Million people are enslaved around the world today for labor and sex.

32 Billion dollars. That is how much the human trafficking and sex trade industry makes currently, that is how much it is worth.

80% of those enslaved are women and children.

In case you didn't catch it, I never mentioned only one country...in fact I mentioned 161 countries that promote or partake in the disgusting act of selling human beings. The US included.

I'm not here to say I'm some magical warrior that can change the world with a little bit of money or an army, but I am saying that I am already part of an army that should take a step towards doing something about it. The world is torn every day into a million little pieces of consumerism and poverty. Every day men and women turn on their computers to watch women, men, and children strip and lay with people they have never met before. Which means every day women, men and children are forced in front of screens and told to do as they are demanded - or die.

Some reading may find it extreme, or think I am over exaggerating but read closely as I go on.

This act of sex and labor trafficking does not just happen in far off countries that no one has ever heard of, it is happening in my backyard and I am sure your's as well. Detroit, Pontiac, and Toledo are three of the top hubs for human trafficking in the world. Not country. I said world. I live two and a half hours from Toledo. I live fourty-five minutes from Detroit. I live fifteen minutes from Pontiac. I am a target.

My roommate is a target.

My boyfriend is a target.

The children I babysit are targets.

This is not to say "don't ever go to any of these places" or "don't leave your home". Instead I am asking that as a body of individuals who believes this is wrong that we take action against it.

What can be done?

Below is a list of organizations you can become a part of, or at least assist in their already strong fight for the rights of ever man, woman, and child ever sold for labor or sex in the world today.

Exodus Cry

Hope Alliance

Polaris Project

love146

Not For Sale Campaign

Tiny Hands International

Those are just the few that come up, and I can say that all of them have one common goal - to rid this earth of one of the most hainess crimes ever committed by its people. If you aren't disgusted by the statistics, or even the idea that minutes from where you stand someone is being drugged and shoved into a van to be sold to men around the world - stop reading now.

If a lump just formed at the bottom of stomach because you never knew, and want to know more - the only way to change something is to educate yourself and others. Spread the world, and help put an end to Human Trafficking.

until next time.

What INSPIRES you?

Inspirations. 

I have so many for the thousands of thoughts, writings, songs, stories, and just plain laughter day in and day out that it is so difficult to pin point each one. But here we go...

God.

This isn't really going in order, but God in quite possibly the biggest inspiration around town. He is Creator. He is Prince of Peace. He is everything to every part of me, and that is a hard thing to grasp sometimes. Psalm 139 encapsulates the intensity of God by saying He knew me while I was in my mother's womb. How could that no inspire you?

Momma.

It's once again hard to elaborate the intensity as to which she inspires me, but when it comes to my writing and dreams there has never been a time she thought I couldn't do anything I put my little heart to. Writing a children's book? Working on it, and she is my proofreader. Going to college? She researched schools with me, and pushed me to try something half way across the country. She is incredible, and she inspires my soul to be a better human.

Roomies.

Amanda: Her determination is moving and is something that inspires me to be a better student. I know that whatever I'm going through I can talk to her about, she is sort of the big sister of our four-some and I wouldn't change that for the world.

Dena: My little imagination station. I once told her that her faith makes my soul sing, and that is more true now than ever. I am so blessed to know her and she inspires my faith forward.

Jessica: Two year friendaverssary just passed and I am moved by our love, frustrations, and just plain giggly and creative spirits. She is my soul mate, my lufffff, and my sister. I always say we are so crazy that God did not make us blood sisters because He knew our mothers couldn't handle us both at the same time.

Thomas.

Boyfriend. Best friend. Loving me intensely and truly. I am inspired by how much we work together through things, question each other, push one another in Christ and are so bound to the idea of traveling this path together that I am so glad God gave me you.

Old friends.

high school. middle school. elementary school. It doesn't matter, I am blessed to know you or even have known you. I am in love with the fact that God gave me enough variety, and creativity that you all have helped mold the person I am. 

New friends.

Memories to made and lives to be changed. That in itself is inspiration.

God is good. Life is inspiring. Sometimes I just have to remember to open my eyes.

until next time (:

How do you fall in LOVE?

A lot of my blogs start with things I have heard, read or seen - this one isn't any different. Sorry to disappoint. 

I stumbled upon this quote a while back and I put it on one of my sticky notes on my laptop computer (Mac), and I recently looked at it again. "A good marriage requires that you fall in love many times with the same person." -Mignon McLaughlin. It made me stop and really think, Do I fall in love with God everyday? Or even once a week?

The thought made me somewhat nauseas, and then fairly curious, mainly thanks to my next thoughts. What is stopping me from falling in love with God everyday? How do I do it? How do others fall in love with God when they do?

I connect with God emotionally and spiritually through music and the time I spend questioning my own faith with the ones I love. A lot of those things take place every day, but a lot of days I find myself frustrated and questioning why I am feeling as such. Did I start my day with God? Have I encountered Him at all today? The majority of the time my answer is no, and that is one of the worst realizations I have come to. He is my Savior. He is my King. He is the thing I love above all things, and yet I don't tell Him I love Him as often as I tell my mom or my boyfriend. 

Now, that's not to say I shouldn't tell the ones I love on this earth that I love them as often as I possibly can - but why am I not telling the One who CREATED ME?! What is over taking my brain to make it so I am not conscious of how much I'm encountered my God? 

It's the world.

I know what you're thinking "You can't blame all of your problems on the evil of the world, Miriah." But I can. My problems are because of this world because of the evil that inhabits it. What is my fault though is how I react to such evil. Why am I not telling Satan to beat it when I'm in a bad mood for the little things? I have the power, we all do. Why am I not forcing that good for nothing out of my mind and then letting the glory of God shine bright in the world I wish to change? 

I know this blog seems like mostly questions, but lately that is all I've had to do. Question the reality of this world and what I can do to change it with the time and people God has given to me. Everyone is a tool, you just have to realize your function! I can tell God I love Him everyday, and do my best to show Him that love by doing my very best to live out His word.

Fall in love everyday with the same person -  your Creator. It's a good feeling.

until next time (:

Lyrically Astounding: Jimmy Needham

I have written a blog about a Jimmy Needham song previously, but listening to his music multiple times is like watching your favorite movie a thousand times - you know all the words, but each one brings a new meaning.

"Can I weep about my Savior and the way He died?"  

Fence Riders - Jimmy Needham

In my head, the first thing I thought was Why would I cry? That is definitely NOT my first reaction. However, the better question is - Why wouldn't I cry? Jesus is my best friend, the lover of my soul and the very first man to know all of me inside and out in my thoughts and deepest parts of my being...He died. Why wouldn't I cry?

I'm not saying that we should all weep constantly because of the death of Jesus, I mean think of Easter! It's a celebration of (well..technically it's a celebration of a Pagan God who was half bunny that laid eggs and promoted fertility..but that's beside the point) Jesus' resurrection! So celebrate, but take time to miss your friend and pursue that deep relationship.

It also brings me back to the lyrics of Amazing Grace. "How amazing was His grace in the hour I first believed" And I thought My faith was impenetrable in my first hours of really accepting Jesus and His grace...what happened.  

I realized it's like getting a shiny new bike as a child and riding it for a while, but then getting consumed by the GameBoy, the PlayStation, the Television, and all of the other numerous things that draw children into the confines of their home. Meanwhile, the bike is sitting in the corner of my garage waiting to be ridden like the first few years of it's 'newness'. I still know how to ride it, and sometimes I think about doing just that but then something inside catches my eye and I don't.

How true is that of our faith as Christians? Jesus was shiny and new (and I hope He isn't offended by my bike analogy..) but once the world grabs hold of us all over again we as Christians are sucked in the materialistic world we created. It's like going to church camp, and coming down from a spiritual high because you went home. 

We were innocent in our love for Jesus at that time, and isn't the innocence of a child exactly what God is looking for from us? Why not strive everyday to revert back to the faith we had at the start of our walk with Christ, but continue to have the knowledge and deeper understanding of His love and grace that we have acquired with time?

I'm not saying weep constantly or act like a child, but I am asking - what happened to your faith that you stopped thinking of Jesus as a friend and Savior and started seeing Him as JUST a being to worship?

I miss my best friend, but at times my heart is hardened. I want to ride my bike, but sometimes I'd rather watch T.v. I never said I had the answers, but something has got to give.

until next time (:

Are You for Me?

Sometimes thoughts stir up. Thoughts I hate thinking and even thoughts I never thought I would think.

How could God do this?

Doesn't He love me?

Isn't He for me?

Are You sure this is good for me?

Are You sure this will prosper me?

I hate that You didn't step in.

Are You the Almighty?

I lost a friend to murder. Sometimes I have no idea what God wants of me (in any way shape or form). I struggle with lust (every day). I'm working 60 hours a week for an entire summer just to pay off a balance I owe for the next school year. I'm struggling in the classes I need to take to do what I'm sure (on good days) God wants me to do. My mom is struggling with the house, and so I work those 60 hours to help. I could go on. This is the worst summer I have yet to experience, and the only line I have playing in my head is "everything gets worse before it gets better."

Can I handle worse?

Lately I've been playing a song on repeat, For Me - Kari Jobe. For those who don't know her, or don't listen to her often I reccommend you listen to it at least once. The chorus of the song though is something that continues to play in my head even if I'm not listening to it.  

"I know that You are for me. I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weaknesses. I know that You have come down, even if to write upon my heart. To remind me who You are."

I thought I was sinning by having doubts in my God. I thought I'm a Christian, I have to believe in God all the time and keep that constant faith. Then I realized the true distinction between faith and belief. Not only had I been pushing through life on threads of belief and less than a string of faith, but I was fighting a demon I was sure to lose against if those threads and strings didn't get woven together.

Faith is where your heart is. Belief is where your head comes into play, and some days my head and my heart are not together on anything. Some days I have to force myself to sit down and read the Word, or listen to some worship or talk to my best friend about my frustrations. Sometimes my faith in God fights against the things I believe and I end up losing in the center of it all.

But sometimes, I win. More often then not my faith triumphs and I realize that God has me in the palm of His hand. Me. A miniscule, rambly, emotional, trainwreck of a girl who is just trying to keep herself afloat with friendships, school, family, and an incredible true love. He has me in the palm of His hand, and He is molding me each day. That faith triumphs, intertwines itself with belief and together they rule my day with prayer, worship, and scripture.

Not everyday is good. I have doubts all the time. But if I didn't have them, I woudln't be where I stand. And I like the view from up here, in the center of God's hand.

until next time (: