Winton's Children

How far would you go to save a life? How about the life of a child? Would you do it to get world head lines?

Nicholas Winton save 669 children from the Nazis in 1938, keeping a record of every child he saved he put the pictures and records away in his attic and told no one, not even his wife. What he did was save hundreds of lives and did it because he knew it was right and he that he could. How far would you go?

Sometimes I like to tell myself that it's ridiculous to say that I'd do the same, that there is no way I could have the courage to do something like save another human being's life. Then I realize that if I were given the choice to save my mother, best friend, teacher, child, stranger's life I would do it in a heart beat. If I were given the choice to breathe another day and let them lose their life or give them my last breath and leave this world, I would give them my last breath and say goodbye.

I pretend that I would talk myself out of it, but then I realize that as much as I love living and doing what I love to do in my own life, knowing I could let someone go on doing what they love and go on loving who they love means so much more to me. I'm content with my life and the way I'm living, in fact I'm ecstatic about my own life and the things my heart beats for the dreams my mind takes me on for my own future. Which, all of those things make me realize I would give my life over someone else's without a second thought. 

If even one other human being has dreams like mine then let them live. To save a life makes the life of the saver that much more important, much more meaningful. Saving someone's life would be the fulfillment of all the dreams I've ever dreamed.

So to answer my own question, I would do what Winton did in a heart beat, no matter the consequence, but would you?

until next time (:  

St. Cloud - Lost in the Afterwards

Ever thought about the struggle of a difficult moment in your life? Ever wondered how to feel after such a time? I have. You are not alone.

This has been plaguing me lately. How do you move on from something that has totally turned your life into a turbulent tumble of jumbled ramblings and tearful goodbyes? The answer is...I don't have an answer. But I am working on it, which - if that isn't good enough for you, don't worry, because most days it isn't good enough for me either. It is placating at best. I've thought lately, and when I say lately I mean tonight when I saw Charlie St. Cloud, that life puts you through the ups and downs just so when you get out you are so changed that you don't know how to go about the life you lived before hand.

To be honest with all of you, if you ever thought you weren't changed, you're lying to yourself.

The only thing that changes during a time of hardship, specifically a death of any kind, is you. The things you used to do never change, nor do the things you owned or the life you lived. The one thing that changes is the person you used to be and I suppose that is the profound beauty. If you ever want to know how much something doesn't mean to you, have your world shaken and shattered and then go back to trying to find your place amongst the clothes, hobbies, friends and relationships you held pre-shatter.

The shaking and shattering does just that, shakes and shatters you and teaches you that you can be shaken and shattered but what it does not teach you is how to rebuild and move on. It does not teach you that every once in a while you will break down at the mention of their name. Every once in a while you will shake at the simple thought of that time in your life. That you may need to escape in letters to the ones who will never read them, or lose yourself in music that reminds you of them.

A man I admire once told me that I was the strongest woman he'd ever known because when I went through a hard time, I didn't break for all to see and I did not give up on the friends who needed me. I sort of stared at him blankly, a loss for words, and wondered. Finally getting the sentences together and working up the courage to throw them off my tongue all I could think of was "Are you insane? I am a wreck." We chuckled but there was nothing else more true. "Chelsea is gone." One moment in time, three simple words cut to the core of me and ripped it apart within seconds and to rebuild such a beautiful masterpiece of wreckage was going to take time.

Immediately I looked back at the friend I admired and said thank you, thank you for being so good and so beautiful to me because it is more important for you to see the person I've hoped to be than the person I truly am inside. If you were to see the leftovers of something so personal, you would wonder how I'm still standing. To which he simply said "I don't believe you. You are stronger than you think, believe that."

This is not about personal strength or personal growth because I have grown, of course I have, but to me being strong is not about growing from a hard situation, it is about accepting it. Being strong is pushing through it, breaking down in the middle of worship, finding the air has left the room in the middle of a class, finding comfort in the warm arms of a blessing at 1am when all the crying has made you nauseas and you can't put together coherent sentences. Being strong is being every part of what makes one weak.
until next time (:

Courtesy, where have you gone?

When is the last time you held the door open for someone? If you haven't done it in a while, give it a try, the look on their face will make sure you open the door for everyone you can.

Yesterday my mom and I went out for dinner at Joe's Crab Shack (epic meal) and this is where I experienced it. We were on our way out of the restaurant and after holding the door open for my mom I saw two lovely ladies on their way indoors. So moving just out of their way the look on their face said "she's not going to". Little did they know I was brought up much better than to leave two woman in the rain. I had moved out of their way and to the other side of the door to hold it open for them both. The bright smile on both of their faces brightened my already great day.

Immediately it struck me, why were they THAT happy when someone opened the door for them? Doesn't it happen often enough? What has society broken down to? And in that moment I went from happy to sad to angry, happy I could brighten their day - sad that something that small brightened their day - angry that the world's manner's has crumbled.

Now when I open the door for myself I normally look just over my shoulder to see if there is anyone coming so I can hold it for them, but I found out today that even my elder's could care less. Today I walked into a store and three women walked in before me, each one did not hold the door open for the other (it was a fast moving door) and so by the time it was my turn to enter it practically hit me in the face. I realize I'm not an elderly woman, injured or pregnant but when did manner's take place only for those less fortunate? I do not care if you are 9 months pregnant or an obnoxious 3 year old screaming about ice cream flavors and demanding his/her favorite, I will hold the door for you if you are in my proximity - it is how my mother raised me.

I suppose this breaks it down to "to each his own" but that is not an excuse to let the people of our world become inconsiderate for others. What if the person you so rudely didn't hold the door open for (or let the door them in the face) is the only match for your very much needed kidney. If that person has any manners at all they would follow through anyway, but if they have as much manners as you - you are kidney -less. 

I don't suppose it would ever come down to something like that but please be more aware of how you treat others because you could open the door for someone who could later save your life or you could just brighten their day - either way? It's worth it. Trust me.
until next time (:

Destination Unknown

No matter what time of day you are driving have you ever sat at a red light, looked over to the driver next to you and wondered "where are they headed"? 

We always understand where we are going, what will happen when we arrive at our destination and through the entire drive mentally prepare ourselves for whatever awaits us. While heading to church this morning, I was looking out the passenger side window at a few of the other drivers and each of them were unique and different in a hundred different ways. Some were stoic and looked as though they'd just heard the worst news of their lives. Some others were calm, listening to music, texting at stop lights or talking to their passengers as though they were headed to church or a lunch appointment.

Either way it hit me that in a beautiful way everyone's world collides in that way every day, every time we venture out on the road. Road rage? Maybe someone is headed to the hospital to experience the birth of a child, or hear the news of a lost loved one and speeding is the only way they can get there in time to say goodbye. What if you ran into someone who was on their way to watch their wife give birth to their first child just because you thought getting the ice cream in the freezer a little faster would be good? 

I suppose it really comes down to understanding and noticing the surroundings placed around you at all times. I've always prayed for the passengers who look sad, or even complacent. Rejoiced for those who are jamming in their car and found myself congratulating "baby on board" stickers. Before you take your purposes more important than others, understand what other people may be destined to go. One day, they may take into consideration your first hello or your last goodbye you may need to rush off to.

until next time (:

Taking dating to Court.

Per usual conversation amongst young adult girls, my roommate and I recently had a conversation about dating and relationships. The realization and decision we sort of talked out was how important it is to the both of us to be courted and date before "dating". 

The conversation began with our ideas of wedding possibilities, just like little girls playing barbie, we tend to talk about our weddings and our future husbands. Although God is leaving that last part an illusion, our desires and needs in that person are put in our hearts permanently. We came to the conclusion that neither of us have ever been on a date before "dating", and this seemed relatively frustrating. Not that we are the "spend money on us" types, far from it actually, but I am the type to say that spending time with a man that I am interested in on a more than "hanging out" level is very important to me post - "dating". 

To me that is when all of the deeper level conversation can take place, where I can find out exactly how you feel about God in a relationship or learn more about you as a human being. I believe the older fashioned way of putting the process is "courting". Yes, boys, girls still like to be courted as a part of the dating process. Suck it up (:

I will be the first, and probably leading the few, that says I cannot stand the "dinner and a movie" date night, nor do I like roses. I am an outdoors, lay under the stars, long conversation, ice cream, put put type of girl and to me if you like that type of thing, then let's do it! 

I suppose what it comes down to is texting for a few weeks and then becoming the facebook official relationship is not something that should be acceptable anymore. Yes we live in a technological society and don't get me wrong, I am a text maniac and facebook fanatic, but when it comes to dating old fashioned that is the way I chose to be. Don't kiss me on the first date, don't assume that after one date we are "dating" and facebook official and don't believe that after one conversation you understand the person I am and what I want.

"Dating" has changed and the world has spun into a never ending status change but what will not change is the need to be loved and to be understood and in my opinion that can only be done through dating pre-relationship. Courting is the new status change.

until next time. (: