This Year in 21 Simple Details (:

I want to reflect on this past year because it has been an incredible one (:

1) I had the opportunity to see some amazing friends and family get married this year! So blessed to know Kate&Robert, Matthias&Keilah, and my wonderful cousin Susan.

2) I got to see another friend get engaged, and share in the joy of their love! 

3) The opportunity to sing (with two of the best girls around) at my first wedding, it was a blessed experience.

4) I received the worst grades of my school career, a blessing in disguise.

5) I received the best grades of my school career, a relief.

6) Fell in and out and in love with God. It's an ever growing relationship with my Creator.

7) I began dating and fell in love with one of the most inspiring, open hearted, Godly men I know.

8) Made brand new friends, and what an incredible blessing they are!

9) Caught myself more than once saying or doing something that wasn't glorifying and stopped myself - it's ever growing.

10) I got my first two tattoos.

11) Remembered my friend on the year anniversary of her death, RIP Chels.

12) Prayed with my girls for guidance and peace, love and mercy...and then prayed again, and again, and again.

13) Discussed sex and the nitty-gritty details with pastors, priests, professors, and a rabi in front of my entire school. 

14) Started working two jobs, and going to school full time.

15) Managed and definitely didn't manage my stress properly. It takes time.

16) Stepped foot into the studio with an incredibly talented girl and started something I love!

17) Realized it is not always my responsibility, or even my business. However, I am created to listen and to speak with words given to me by the only true Healer.

18) Became unsure of what God wants for me to do - but I am incredibly excited to seek Him for the answer.

19) Realized how strong I really am.

20) Became inspired beyond belief by my friends who chase their dreams through love and grace.

21) I turned 20 years old, and found that nothing is for certain but Love Never Fails.

I've learned a few things, and I pray I've helped people learn a few things. I don't want to make New Year's Resolutions, but I do want to live my life by love and nothing else. I want to walk in the footsteps of my Maker with the ones I love. I've been blessed by Him to live another year and be so happy in the storms because He is only growing me.

until next year (:

What is the Truth About You?

It sucks to say I struggle everyday to look in the mirror with a happy face. What is worse is knowing the women that surround me, and a lot of men struggle with the same thing. It's not just bed head and a little bit of dry drool that they are frowning over, but it is the way they feel about themselves...the way I feel about myself.

Instead of telling me that I'm a "beautiful creation of God" please read on. Not that I don't appreciate those comments, every girl likes to hear she is beautiful, but that is a 'go to' phrase that I don't want to hear just yet.

Yesterday I heard a song. A song to change minds, and break hearts so God can mold them again. I am so thankful. The name is "The Truth About Me" by Mandisa, and good glory is this woman reading my mind. 

The song is about the way she sees herself, and how different that is from the view point God has on His creation. I never think about how God sees me, do you? I never recognize how those who care about me see me, do you? It's a little selfish only letting how you see yourself get to you, don't you think? No to the first two, and a definite yes to the last one. 

How do I change the way I view myself?

I started by putting that song on repeat, and not just on my iPod but in my head as well. I work in fast food, which means I get bullied from time to time and I used to let it get to me. Now? I know God holds a higher standard for how I view myself, and even though it's the most difficult thing I have had to do in a while, I do my best to think differently. I have a mantra, "Love Is Bigger". Love can cover all of my insecurities, and thanks to Him I have no worries.

What if I have a not so "Mandisa-vational" day?

Every morning I get down. Every single morning, but I surround myself with the people who truly care about me and want to see me feel better about myself. (If that didn't sound like a motivational poster, I don't know what does).

So I make promises to myself or to others about my self-esteem because in my mind promises are, and must stay, unbreakable. I promised my boyfriend I would do my best to see myself through his eyes as a beautiful and strong woman of God. I promised God I would start to change the words I use to describe myself into a more positive tone because I owe it to myself to see me the way He does. 

If I put myself down, I'm putting down His creation - and God doesn't make mistakes. Isn't that reassuring?

I'm not saying that all of this is easy, or that you can do it in a pinch if you're feeling down. Changing your confidence to be more positive is like a long-term, loving relationship, it takes effort and time but in the end it is the greatest thing you have or will ever do not just for yourself but for everyone around you. No one likes a negative nancy, especially when you are putting yourself down and being serious about it. 

What's the truth about me? I am a creation of the Most High and nothing about me was made wrong - He does good work.

until next time (:

The time to end slavery is NOW

No matter what you think about the slavery of the past - know that the slavery of today must have warriors like William Wilberforce and Martin Luther King Jr.

27 Million people are enslaved around the world today for labor and sex.

32 Billion dollars. That is how much the human trafficking and sex trade industry makes currently, that is how much it is worth.

80% of those enslaved are women and children.

In case you didn't catch it, I never mentioned only one country...in fact I mentioned 161 countries that promote or partake in the disgusting act of selling human beings. The US included.

I'm not here to say I'm some magical warrior that can change the world with a little bit of money or an army, but I am saying that I am already part of an army that should take a step towards doing something about it. The world is torn every day into a million little pieces of consumerism and poverty. Every day men and women turn on their computers to watch women, men, and children strip and lay with people they have never met before. Which means every day women, men and children are forced in front of screens and told to do as they are demanded - or die.

Some reading may find it extreme, or think I am over exaggerating but read closely as I go on.

This act of sex and labor trafficking does not just happen in far off countries that no one has ever heard of, it is happening in my backyard and I am sure your's as well. Detroit, Pontiac, and Toledo are three of the top hubs for human trafficking in the world. Not country. I said world. I live two and a half hours from Toledo. I live fourty-five minutes from Detroit. I live fifteen minutes from Pontiac. I am a target.

My roommate is a target.

My boyfriend is a target.

The children I babysit are targets.

This is not to say "don't ever go to any of these places" or "don't leave your home". Instead I am asking that as a body of individuals who believes this is wrong that we take action against it.

What can be done?

Below is a list of organizations you can become a part of, or at least assist in their already strong fight for the rights of ever man, woman, and child ever sold for labor or sex in the world today.

Exodus Cry

Hope Alliance

Polaris Project

love146

Not For Sale Campaign

Tiny Hands International

Those are just the few that come up, and I can say that all of them have one common goal - to rid this earth of one of the most hainess crimes ever committed by its people. If you aren't disgusted by the statistics, or even the idea that minutes from where you stand someone is being drugged and shoved into a van to be sold to men around the world - stop reading now.

If a lump just formed at the bottom of stomach because you never knew, and want to know more - the only way to change something is to educate yourself and others. Spread the world, and help put an end to Human Trafficking.

until next time.

What INSPIRES you?

Inspirations. 

I have so many for the thousands of thoughts, writings, songs, stories, and just plain laughter day in and day out that it is so difficult to pin point each one. But here we go...

God.

This isn't really going in order, but God in quite possibly the biggest inspiration around town. He is Creator. He is Prince of Peace. He is everything to every part of me, and that is a hard thing to grasp sometimes. Psalm 139 encapsulates the intensity of God by saying He knew me while I was in my mother's womb. How could that no inspire you?

Momma.

It's once again hard to elaborate the intensity as to which she inspires me, but when it comes to my writing and dreams there has never been a time she thought I couldn't do anything I put my little heart to. Writing a children's book? Working on it, and she is my proofreader. Going to college? She researched schools with me, and pushed me to try something half way across the country. She is incredible, and she inspires my soul to be a better human.

Roomies.

Amanda: Her determination is moving and is something that inspires me to be a better student. I know that whatever I'm going through I can talk to her about, she is sort of the big sister of our four-some and I wouldn't change that for the world.

Dena: My little imagination station. I once told her that her faith makes my soul sing, and that is more true now than ever. I am so blessed to know her and she inspires my faith forward.

Jessica: Two year friendaverssary just passed and I am moved by our love, frustrations, and just plain giggly and creative spirits. She is my soul mate, my lufffff, and my sister. I always say we are so crazy that God did not make us blood sisters because He knew our mothers couldn't handle us both at the same time.

Thomas.

Boyfriend. Best friend. Loving me intensely and truly. I am inspired by how much we work together through things, question each other, push one another in Christ and are so bound to the idea of traveling this path together that I am so glad God gave me you.

Old friends.

high school. middle school. elementary school. It doesn't matter, I am blessed to know you or even have known you. I am in love with the fact that God gave me enough variety, and creativity that you all have helped mold the person I am. 

New friends.

Memories to made and lives to be changed. That in itself is inspiration.

God is good. Life is inspiring. Sometimes I just have to remember to open my eyes.

until next time (:

How do you fall in LOVE?

A lot of my blogs start with things I have heard, read or seen - this one isn't any different. Sorry to disappoint. 

I stumbled upon this quote a while back and I put it on one of my sticky notes on my laptop computer (Mac), and I recently looked at it again. "A good marriage requires that you fall in love many times with the same person." -Mignon McLaughlin. It made me stop and really think, Do I fall in love with God everyday? Or even once a week?

The thought made me somewhat nauseas, and then fairly curious, mainly thanks to my next thoughts. What is stopping me from falling in love with God everyday? How do I do it? How do others fall in love with God when they do?

I connect with God emotionally and spiritually through music and the time I spend questioning my own faith with the ones I love. A lot of those things take place every day, but a lot of days I find myself frustrated and questioning why I am feeling as such. Did I start my day with God? Have I encountered Him at all today? The majority of the time my answer is no, and that is one of the worst realizations I have come to. He is my Savior. He is my King. He is the thing I love above all things, and yet I don't tell Him I love Him as often as I tell my mom or my boyfriend. 

Now, that's not to say I shouldn't tell the ones I love on this earth that I love them as often as I possibly can - but why am I not telling the One who CREATED ME?! What is over taking my brain to make it so I am not conscious of how much I'm encountered my God? 

It's the world.

I know what you're thinking "You can't blame all of your problems on the evil of the world, Miriah." But I can. My problems are because of this world because of the evil that inhabits it. What is my fault though is how I react to such evil. Why am I not telling Satan to beat it when I'm in a bad mood for the little things? I have the power, we all do. Why am I not forcing that good for nothing out of my mind and then letting the glory of God shine bright in the world I wish to change? 

I know this blog seems like mostly questions, but lately that is all I've had to do. Question the reality of this world and what I can do to change it with the time and people God has given to me. Everyone is a tool, you just have to realize your function! I can tell God I love Him everyday, and do my best to show Him that love by doing my very best to live out His word.

Fall in love everyday with the same person -  your Creator. It's a good feeling.

until next time (:

Lyrically Astounding: Jimmy Needham

I have written a blog about a Jimmy Needham song previously, but listening to his music multiple times is like watching your favorite movie a thousand times - you know all the words, but each one brings a new meaning.

"Can I weep about my Savior and the way He died?"  

Fence Riders - Jimmy Needham

In my head, the first thing I thought was Why would I cry? That is definitely NOT my first reaction. However, the better question is - Why wouldn't I cry? Jesus is my best friend, the lover of my soul and the very first man to know all of me inside and out in my thoughts and deepest parts of my being...He died. Why wouldn't I cry?

I'm not saying that we should all weep constantly because of the death of Jesus, I mean think of Easter! It's a celebration of (well..technically it's a celebration of a Pagan God who was half bunny that laid eggs and promoted fertility..but that's beside the point) Jesus' resurrection! So celebrate, but take time to miss your friend and pursue that deep relationship.

It also brings me back to the lyrics of Amazing Grace. "How amazing was His grace in the hour I first believed" And I thought My faith was impenetrable in my first hours of really accepting Jesus and His grace...what happened.  

I realized it's like getting a shiny new bike as a child and riding it for a while, but then getting consumed by the GameBoy, the PlayStation, the Television, and all of the other numerous things that draw children into the confines of their home. Meanwhile, the bike is sitting in the corner of my garage waiting to be ridden like the first few years of it's 'newness'. I still know how to ride it, and sometimes I think about doing just that but then something inside catches my eye and I don't.

How true is that of our faith as Christians? Jesus was shiny and new (and I hope He isn't offended by my bike analogy..) but once the world grabs hold of us all over again we as Christians are sucked in the materialistic world we created. It's like going to church camp, and coming down from a spiritual high because you went home. 

We were innocent in our love for Jesus at that time, and isn't the innocence of a child exactly what God is looking for from us? Why not strive everyday to revert back to the faith we had at the start of our walk with Christ, but continue to have the knowledge and deeper understanding of His love and grace that we have acquired with time?

I'm not saying weep constantly or act like a child, but I am asking - what happened to your faith that you stopped thinking of Jesus as a friend and Savior and started seeing Him as JUST a being to worship?

I miss my best friend, but at times my heart is hardened. I want to ride my bike, but sometimes I'd rather watch T.v. I never said I had the answers, but something has got to give.

until next time (:

Are You for Me?

Sometimes thoughts stir up. Thoughts I hate thinking and even thoughts I never thought I would think.

How could God do this?

Doesn't He love me?

Isn't He for me?

Are You sure this is good for me?

Are You sure this will prosper me?

I hate that You didn't step in.

Are You the Almighty?

I lost a friend to murder. Sometimes I have no idea what God wants of me (in any way shape or form). I struggle with lust (every day). I'm working 60 hours a week for an entire summer just to pay off a balance I owe for the next school year. I'm struggling in the classes I need to take to do what I'm sure (on good days) God wants me to do. My mom is struggling with the house, and so I work those 60 hours to help. I could go on. This is the worst summer I have yet to experience, and the only line I have playing in my head is "everything gets worse before it gets better."

Can I handle worse?

Lately I've been playing a song on repeat, For Me - Kari Jobe. For those who don't know her, or don't listen to her often I reccommend you listen to it at least once. The chorus of the song though is something that continues to play in my head even if I'm not listening to it.  

"I know that You are for me. I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weaknesses. I know that You have come down, even if to write upon my heart. To remind me who You are."

I thought I was sinning by having doubts in my God. I thought I'm a Christian, I have to believe in God all the time and keep that constant faith. Then I realized the true distinction between faith and belief. Not only had I been pushing through life on threads of belief and less than a string of faith, but I was fighting a demon I was sure to lose against if those threads and strings didn't get woven together.

Faith is where your heart is. Belief is where your head comes into play, and some days my head and my heart are not together on anything. Some days I have to force myself to sit down and read the Word, or listen to some worship or talk to my best friend about my frustrations. Sometimes my faith in God fights against the things I believe and I end up losing in the center of it all.

But sometimes, I win. More often then not my faith triumphs and I realize that God has me in the palm of His hand. Me. A miniscule, rambly, emotional, trainwreck of a girl who is just trying to keep herself afloat with friendships, school, family, and an incredible true love. He has me in the palm of His hand, and He is molding me each day. That faith triumphs, intertwines itself with belief and together they rule my day with prayer, worship, and scripture.

Not everyday is good. I have doubts all the time. But if I didn't have them, I woudln't be where I stand. And I like the view from up here, in the center of God's hand.

until next time (:

Don't forget about the LITTLE People!

I love reading BibleGateway's verse of the day. No matter what day I read, or in this case which verse it is I am reading it always has to do with my life at this time. God is funny like that!

Lately I've been feeling a little selfish, because I work 2 jobs, train for a 5K, and still I'm behind on money and everything else. Why is it that I do so much for other people but I feel like God has forgotten His servant? Well I opened up BibleGateway today and this is what I read...Hebrews 6:10 which says "God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them." 

I got smacked in the face. What was I thinking? God forgetting one of His children? Am I insane?

Don't answer that last question...But nonetheless, it was something I needed to feel to truly realize that God is always there - doing what is best for me. It's like grieving, no one volunteers for it, but when it shows up on your doorstep it's something you have to deal with as a human being. Once it's over, however you can sit back and know how much you have changed thanks to God's handy work because He brought you through something the world threw you into. 

Think about Abraham. An old man was told by God that a great kingdom would come from him. Through leading his people, to almost sacrificing his son Abraham followed the truth that God spoke on belief alone. 

What about Daniel? Talk about the pits of despair. Anyone else want to volunteer to be in the pit with the lions? I didn't think so. God said He would deliver Daniel, and He did. God doesn't forget a servant - no matter how big or small. 

Sometimes I ache for the knowledge of where God wants me. Sometimes I wonder why I'm at both jobs, or running for a lost friend, or why I try so hard to please something I can't even see. Then I realize it's all because He loves. It's all because of His sacrifice. It's all because of the Spirit that leads me. Trust. Trust. Trust.

If you feel small know that you are a priority to the Lord. Know that no matter how tiny or insignificant you might feel, God is bigger than your emotions and He has a handle on all the things you fear and worry. God will never forget one of His sheep, because He is the great shepherd. Do the tasks set out for you, help the least for that is helping Jesus, and love to the end of your rope. Even when you don't think you can handle anymore of anything or anyone, step out onto thin air - God is holding you.

I still feel small sometimes, but no longer insignificant.

until next time (:

Nice...Shoes?

I got the best compliment today that I've received in weeks. And with a very flattering boyfriend, that is something not easily said.

Today is TOMS No shoes Awareness Day - Today I was told by a passerby (who was also shoeless) "Hey, I like your shoes!!" We shared a large smile and went on about our day. Awareness days are great, but I've been told "if you are aware...where do you go from there?"

That question made me truly think. My roommate, best friend, and I have tried to do fundraisers for TOMS but they do not take donations (odd, but true.) They receive their money simply by people who purchase their shoes. Which is fair, but how on earth do we help if donations aren't plausible?

For one: GET THE WORD OUT! Safety, Service and Love for others aren't just things you speak about or feel without action - those things are movements only able to be put in action by people MOVING together.

For two: Host a TOMS Design Your Sole party, you can design your own TOMS in party form with friends who also want to change the world! It's a rather cool idea!

For three: BE CREATIVE! The Beatles didn't start a movement by sounding like anyone else but The Beatles. And better yet, Jesus didn't waste his time trying to reach his people the same way other churches and temples did - in fact He flipped tables and set people on their edge.

I love my "shoes" Make an effort and voice your opinion - start moving, even if it is just by not wearing shoes. Don't stop there, everyone makes a difference!!

until next time (:

My Week in the "D" - Service

What is the true meaning of service? What does it mean to have a servant's heart? How do we get there?

All of these questions were ones that plagued my heart before my week in the "D", but now I believe I have answers. I'm not saying I'm perfect at anything involving service, or having the greatest servants heart - in any way, but I am saying that I think I know how to get there faster and in a greater way.

1) What is the true meaning of service?

If you truly want to understand the meaning of service, go to a place where service is taboo and begin your work. I'm not saying drop everything and be a bum in Detroit that does nothing but volunteer (although it is a blast!) but do something. Helping others is something that has always given me the warm and fuzzies, but knowing I am doing something for someone who isn't anywhere near used to it - gosh is that amazing.

2) What does it mean to have a servant's heart?

This is something I've always seen as a good thing to have and I thought I'd mastered it, but man was I wrong. I got to Detroit and immediately living with 14 other people that I didn't know SUPER well to begin with was overwhelming. In my mind I was there to serve Detroit, and I learned it wasn't just serving Detroit - it was serving those around me. Towards the end of the week we were all that much closer - and that much more loving and the inside jokes blew up!

3) How do we as a whole get there?

Open up. Let God in. Be happy about doing work that serves Jesus. In the word it is stated that if we do something for the least of these, we do it to and for Jesus. Why don't you want to give everything you have to serve the God you love? It's not easy, and it's definitely a process that I'm still working on - but it feels so good to be this much closer to succeeding!

Service is loving those who don't often feel such an emotion presented to them by other people. I love loving. 

until next time (:

A Week in the "D" - Agape

This won't be my only post about my mission trip in Detroit, because it will take much more than a day and a half to digest the beauty that happened there. This one is about Agape.

If you know what the word means, you don't have to keep reading if you don't want to, but it takes a different turn then you think. If you don't know what it means, keep reading.

Agape means Sacrificial Love. It means the love that Christ felt for us as He hung on that tree. It means the love He felt as He sacrificed His reputation, cleanliness by Jewish law, His status, His everything to become the least of these for our souls. It means the kind of love we are to have for the least os these. 

To be first one must be last. I continued to tell myself I wanted to be last, but did I? Did I really believe myself when I said that? Until this week I thought so, but being told that there is a HUGE difference in the complacent Christian Philao (give and take only) type of love and agape love...I knew I was wrong. After a full week (and when I say full, I mean full) of serving, loving, and growing with and without 14 other human beings. We encountered broken and lonely, broken and rebuilding, healed and helping, and those who were unreadable. I am amazed by the love God pushed into my face through all the incredible people we met.

One night we were all dead tired, but I kept volunteering songs for us all to sing. I just wanted us to praise and worship, and feel God in the home we stayed in. There was a man who had come in off the streets (he was a regular to the family we stayed with, and such a sweet and gentle human being) and as he listened to our praise and worship for almost 45 minutes, on top of the talking and growing on an already renewed faith in God with our host father - he made the decision after our singing to get baptized on Easter Sunday. 

If we hadn't sacrificed our tired, sleep deprived selves to sing to God and give Him the glory, that man would not have made that decision that night. I amazed by Agape.

It will take some growing pains, some work, and a lot of God's grace to work on sacrificing myself more and more - but God made my heart this big for a reason. He'll break it a thousand times for what breaks His if He has to. 

Agape.

until next time (:

A Year Too Long - To You, Chels

This post has been days, weeks, and even months in the making. I've started and deleted, started and changed words and then deleted everything because no words seems to match up to exactly how I am feeling. It's hard to know how you feel when parts of you still don't know how to feel.

The thought of today has consumed my mind for the majority of this year, and even more so since the month of February has begun. The idea that it has been a full year and I still have days where it gets hard to breathe when I think about her is just...frustrating. I foolishly believed that once last February had passed I'd be alright. When I wasn't I began to dread her birthday, the 6 month anniversary and this. This constant reminder that one year ago a ray of sunshine was stolen from this planet, and I never got the chance to tell her how much she inspired me.

For those who are a bit in the dark I'll fill you in - it's become cathartic to do so.

One year ago today, my friend and someone I held to high esteem was on a run in the middle of the day, like she did everyday and was kidnapped by a man named John Albert Gardner III. Her purity was stolen, and then he took her last breaths, and with that sent an entire community of people into a fit of rage - fear - and misunderstanding.

With all of that being said, this is to you.

Chelsea, my sunflower sister,

We were born the same month, a year apart. We had the same two favorite colors. We're our parent's "hippy children". We WILL change the world. I miss you more than most words could express but I am going to try for your sake. Today is hard. Today was something I just wanted to skip over and forget, but in a way that remembered you without hurting me - sadly I've found that that isn't possible. I have so many things to ask you, so many things I want to know, but today none of those things seem to matter. The only thing that does, ironically, is how you feel today? Are you with your parents and brother? How about Poway High School? Are you in a thousand places at once? Is that possible? I want to know how you see us now? What do the stars look like underneath your feet? Is it fun to ride on a cloud? Or even a drop of rain? What's it like knowing his name? Would you want him where he is now? What would you say to him if you could say anything at all? I have too many questions, too many pangs of anger-frustration-sadness-tears...there are too many emotions to feel today and I feel them all every second of this day. The next four or five days are going to be hard because I remember EVERY little thing about the weekend you were missing. I remember the air being knocked out of me at 7:00 pm sharp March 2nd. I remember all of my anger towards, all of my question...some of it hasn't subsided. God didn't want this for you, angel, he didn't want you to be hurt or to meet you before your time. He wanted you to fullfill all the beautiful things through the doors he opened for you. My God wouldn't have let this happen..so how did it? I won't stop asking until I behold His face and ask him myself. Then I'll run into your arms and we'll giggle like we always did. Until that day, save a spot for me-preferably a recycled bean bag chair (: I love you, babygirl and you are my inspiration.

I hope your proud of me. 

Forever,

Me.

until next time.

I believe because He believed first

At the beginning of this year a friend of mine asked me a very simple question because he has questions himself. The question was this, "Why do you believe in God?" And my answer was just as simple - sort of. "Because He's never given up on me."

In a way I've found that the greatest way to get out my beliefs are to state them all out as a decree. I find it rather easy to explain my belief in God to others, and in some ways it is rather difficult to do just that. I can tell other Christians time and time again to watch their tongue, but if I do not do the same - what good is it? I can explain my belief in God as simply as His belief in me, but if I give up on Him - what good am I?

I believe in a God who is forever present and omnipresent. I believe in a God who before my birth knew me and sent His only child to die for the sins I would commit. As a Christian I am NOWHERE NEAR perfect, nor do I wish to be. I wish to be the greatest earthly version of myself I can be for my God. I wish to be a great beacon for those who cannot see through the darkness, and lead them to the shore where God reigns as the great light. 

I don't believe that God resides only in churches, ornate buildings made to flaunt the money that the church has brought in. I find church, the way that the Bible spoke it to be, in the conversations I have with other people. God is amongst those who push your faith and make you wonder why you believe exactly what you believe. I believe in God because when I pray I get a warm feeling from the tips of my fingers, to points of my toes. I believe in God because after I spoke on losing a friend to murder and how I was overcoming that through the faith that God can come in and make me warm again. I believe in God because He gave me friends and family who told me in my darkest times "let love in and He will do the rest". I believe in God because He never lost faith in me, He sent His son to die for me-my name was written on his every wound and for that, I will never give up on Him.

I have a lot of plans for my life, a lot of desires and a lot of wishes - thankfully, God has just as many plans, desires and wishes for me. Faith is following and being active in your beliefs. I am being active by believing in my God by helping those who need me and following where He opens doors. I believe He has a plan. He has never let me down.

I believe because He believed first.

until next time (:

Princes of Today

I love Disney movies. I grew up watching them, and falling in love as a little girl, with the Beast. I fell in love with him because Belle saved him, not the other way around. It was give and take - a true Prince and Princess.

I never once attained the princess mentality, because I think it is silly for a little girl to grow up thinking she is entitled and that one day a tall, rich, handsome man will save her from all of her problems. For all the princesses waiting on their prince do yourself a favor and stop. There is no man in chaps, who owns acres upon acres of untouched land, living in a castle (with hundreds of servants), and that has a life goal of finding his Princess in a maid's frock coming to save you from the problems of your life. Sorry to disappoint you.

Let me clarify a little bit, it will make sense I promise.

There are "Princes" in the world, but they aren't like everything Disney portrayed - not even close. Thankfully, you don't have to throw on a maid's frock, feed chickens, and beat men like Gaston away with a stick just to be found by a Prince. 

The princes of today are still handsome, but a lot of them don't ride white horses and sweep you off your feet with a song (that you conveniently know the reciprocal lyrics to). The princes of today are those who make you feel like you should, they make you feel like YOU. The princes of today make you smile that special smile you've kept saved up for your prince. The princes of today make you feel breath taking with one look. The princes of today are true princes.

They are great, but not perfect, because the princesses of today are a wee bit different than Snow White and Sleeping Beauty (thank goodness). Now the princesses of today are willing to fight for the princes of today. The princesses of today aren't afraid to stand strong for what they believe. The princesses of today will make the first move, but it's a give and take. The princesses of today are all around, just waiting on the princes of today to notice their true beauty (some things never change). 

As I said, my favorite disney movie is Beauty and the Beast because in the movie Belle fights for the Beast, and wins triumphantly, all because she loved him for who was - not for what she hoped for him to be. Most other Disney movies portrayed a helpless princess who only cared about the look of their prince, and not necessarily the truth behind the face.

For all the doubtful princesses out in the world I have a little bit of advice, be yourself - not what society thinks princesses should be. Prince Charming might not come with rippling pectorals, loads of cash, or "true loves' first kiss" - but he will be worth much more than all of the Disney movies combined.

For the searching princes, keep your eyes peeled for the girl who is herself, and gives you that special smile - she's the princess those story books always talked about.

No one ever said love wasn't worth the wait, or the fight.

until next time (: